remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
