I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
why do cheetos always look like penises
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
