Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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