I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
