i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
