i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
