he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
