worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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