If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
