white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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