piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
