I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
