is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
