So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Also, beer. Big fan.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
