oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
