so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
we're so committed to being not committed
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
