Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
