We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This is the high leading the old right now
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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