I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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