Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
