need another drink. this is the easiest way
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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