He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
