chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
