he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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