Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
