So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
