we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
