Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
