I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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