she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
