you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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