I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
