I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
