There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
