i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
