I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
