i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
