Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
