i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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