the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize