hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
