we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
