Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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