I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
