Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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