I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
