i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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