guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
