that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize