Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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