it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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