i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize