anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
