It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
