Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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