Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
