We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just pee around me
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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