I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
