talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
