Will you blow on my dice?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
