i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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