At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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