I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
