ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I'm really busy with my period
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