Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
