that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
