there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
