and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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