Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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