hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
