You're completely useless in the revolution.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
