Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize