Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
