I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
