Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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